Conflicting reports emerging from the fourth-floor New South apartment of Fr. Christopher Steck, S.J., indicate that Jack the Bulldog, mascot of Georgetown University, is unsure if and what sexual innuendo is behind his favorite command to “EAT THAT BOX.”

Jack himself recently gave a public statement on this issue.

“Woof woof, bark bark bark, woof woof grrr,” Jack said at the well-attended press conference.

Fr. Steck, caretaker of Jack, offered an English translation of Jack’s remarks for those not fluent in bulldog.

“Although I continue to enjoy chasing, attacking and eating cardboard boxes with the colors of opposing teams painted on them, I am increasingly concerned that the cheer I’ve grown to know and love has been, all along, some sort of perverted sex chant,” Steck translated. “I must vehemently bark my distress at this. I am a Catholic dog and I pray to Doggy Jesus before every game. I ask myself, WWDJD? And Doggy Jesus would certainly not want me to play party to some sort of sick sexual charade. It makes me want to grrr.”

Further reports coming out of New South 4 confirm that Jack Jr., commonly referred to as J.J., has gotten the joke all along and is all the more excited for Jack to snuff it, if that’s what the job entails.