Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your Facebook: Burleith residents are now bringing their blood-sworn jihad against Georgetown students to the world’s most popular social networking site.

The Facebook page, which seeks to anonymously insult students using “friend-submitted” messages posted on its wall, has just over 800 friends. It was created as a counter-account to the much more popular “Georgetown Compliments” page, which anonymously boosts the confidence of people absolutely nobody knows with cliché boosters about nominal success and trivial compliments.

In a recent investigation, the Heckler looked into rumors that the Facebook account “Georgetown Insults” was actually being run by the same guy who operates the blog www.drunkengeorgetownstudents.com. While difficult to pinpoint the actual address of the Facebook page owner, the Heckler has confirmed that the page is currently run by Burleith residents “looking to psychologically assault the student population,” according a source close to the page.

The source, who asked not to be named for fear of retribution, confirms that the page was “specifically created to insult the students using petty, nonsensical attacks on character, political beliefs, and personal preferences and choices.”

“We hate Georgetown students so much that we wanted to attack them via the most personal and accessible way: Facebook. Georgetown students, who appear to only participate in drinking games, public drunkenness, and Facebook posting, need to be personally and directly insulted for all the damage they do to our homes and properties,” says the source, who lives in the P St. area. “They should be perpetually locked in the library to actually pursue higher knowledge, rather than drinking so damn much! Either that, or lock them in a cage.”

While not immediately available for comment, Vice President of Student Affairs Todd Olsen purportedly murmured that he is “not fucking surprised” that Burleith residents would result to such petty attacks on students, especially now that the Campus Plan has been approved.

According to a GUSA statement released just this morning, the student body should respond as follows:

“Please do not engage the Facebook page known as “Georgetown Insults.” The Heckler has determined, using the most intensive investigative reporting known to man, that the owner of the page is indeed an angry Burleith resident. The resident seeks to insult students and damage the University’s reputation using childish, and yet profoundly personal and true, attacks on students. Judging from how much the Facebook page posts, it appears that our ‘neighbors’ in Burleith are simply provoking a fight due to boredom now that the Campus Plan has been passed. Again, please refrain from interacting with them, but be sure to throw beer cans indiscriminately into lawns at your next Burleith party, in the hopes of enraging the residents further. Permanent Burleith residents are just pissed off and bitter that they’re too poor to live in West Georgetown.”

The mysterious page owner, according to the Heckler’s source, apparently had no idea that there was a 220-year old, 104-acre University with a 220-foot clock tower just blocks from his house when he was looking to move in.

Because he never expected a university campus to actually have students between the ages of 18 and 22 living in the surrounding area, the source confirms, the page owner was astounded to learn that some of his neighbors might be more inclined to partake in social gatherings than your run-of-the-mill wheelchair-bound retiree.

Thus, says the source, the resident has maintained a longstanding blood vendetta against all sorts of Hoya-related gallivants has culminated in his perpetual Syracuse flag and, most recently, “Georgetown insults.”

“Literally, like, it’s so childish. I hate Burleith residents. They’re, like, ruining my social life! All I want to do is drink Burnett’s, chill with my betches, hook up with lax guys, and get white girl wasted. And, like, kind of study while I’m here. This crossed the line!” says Maggie Westwood (MSB ’14), a recipient of an attack claiming all she was at Georgetown for was to “drink at Rhino too much and get an MRS degree with an athlete.”

The Heckler was able to confirm these reports are actually true.

Keep it classy, Burleith.