The Georgetown Heckler

News | March 13, 2014

Spider on the Run

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NEVILS — Authorities are still searching for a spider who escaped from the back corner of Nevils L-20’s bathroom around 7:30 a.m. Saturday. Apartment resident Andrea Colloway (COL ’16) says the spider was last seen near the haircare products fleeing eastbound.

The spider was wearing its black skin, but he may have changed. It’s described as an inch tall weighing not a lot with a scary complexion.

Colloway says that spider “could be a daddy longlegs or a tarantula, but I admit I didn’t get a good look cause I just started screaming and throwing shit.”

Facilities Chief James Craig says a golf cart was called in to help with the search. “This kind of thing can’t happen. We should be able to bathe in peace,” says Craig.

DPS and P&G cleaning crews are also part of the manhunt. The spider may have crawled under a door, moved behind something, had thousands of babies, taken a quick nap or really anything .

Colloway and her roommates denied having ever seen the spider before today.

“It was performing some type of instinctual spider action when it was spotted,” explained Chief Craig after posting a reward of a $6 Corp gift card. “It’s armed and definitely dangerous.”

“We want it dead or alive,” said Sarah McCoughlin (NHS ’16) “Actually, no, dead, definitely dead. And we don’t want it.”