Brown (COL ’17) smiles as his concocted response passes initial social parameters.

PHILADELPHIA — As he packed for his return to Georgetown University for his Sophomore year, Sam Brown (COL ’18) realized he had neglected to prepare a response for the inevitable barrage of “how was your summer?” questions.

With a 9 am train the next morning into Union Station, Brown called an emergency joint session of his memory, imagination, and understanding of social norms to tackle the imminent issue.

“The focal point of my problem is that the people I want to know how my summer went already know and those that ask don’t really want to know nor does it really matter,” said Brown as he searched for pots and pans to use in his new Henle apartment. “It’s quite a catch-22.”

As a relatively popular individual and already a prominent figure within Relay for Life and the DC Schools Project, insiders speculate that “dozens of acquaintances” are likely to ask and forget Brown’s answer to the question in the ensuing weeks.

With a dearth of experiences under his belt this summer: working at a health clinic in Nicaragua and return to serve as a counselor in a K-4 sleep away camp in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountain range, Brown at first struggled to find a way to briefly offer a summary of his summer to polite acquaintances whom he really didn’t have that much in common with.

“Ugh, how do I succinctly describe the human experience it two sentences, without inviting any further questioning?” Brown asked to his childhood teddy bear, Mr. Snuggle Nose as he folded his boxers.

Mr. Snuggle Nose could not be reached for comment.

At press time, Brown seemed to be leaning heavily towards the response: “It was good. I was a camp counselor upstate.”

Initial analysis praised this response saying it “walked a fine line” by offering enough vague details to be polite but also lacking any semblance of prestige so as not to attract further questioning from image-driven Hoyas.

“Yeah, I’m not looking to ask any follow up questions based on that answer,” said Brown’s classmate Eric King (SFS ’17) with whom Brown has shared two Spanish classes but never really hit it off with beyond being acquaintances.

“If really only grill him if he got that Senate internship I was eyeing.”

King rated himself as “highly likely” to ask about Brown’s summer despite not contacting him for the past four months when he had the ability to every second he was connected to wi-fi.