ICC 107 — After three years of rampant speculation, New Jersey native Jeff Richards (COL, 15) declared that his senior year at Georgetown will be his final one.

“It’s just time to hang up the backpack,” said Richards, out loud, during his Econ lecture.
The senior, however, made it clear that he would be expecting going away presents from each of his professors, so they can show how much he meant to them.

Richards has stated his intention to walk in graduation at the end of this academic season.

Referring to himself as the “face of the university,” despite holding no leadership positions in any clubs, Richards said he understood his departure would leave a void on campus difficult to fill.

Richards acknowledged that his performance in the classroom had dipped recently—his GPA down to a 2.4 in September after going 2 for 19 in homework turned in—but remains convinced his early years have created “a Hall of Fame career.”

Many supporting friends of Richards are also quick to point out that he has spent his whole college education studying at one university in one city. The Hoya remains split on Richards place in Georgetown lore, but Sophomore Clarence Matthews cites the senior’s 3.9 GPA in Fall 2012 as well as “that one time he got a Super A+ in Problem of God” as a worthy body of work to support Richards in Georgetown immortality.

Advanced statistics, however, are far less kind to the senior, pointing to his career low Words Almost Read (WAR) and declining Obligatory Books Purchased (OBP), and “totally bailing on the Ultimate Frisbee Team.” Some sabermetricians argue that he might actually be one of the worst students to ever study at Georgetown.

When asked what he intended to give Richards as a farewell gift, professors were split. Professor Stevens of the Government Department commented, “Who?”, while a more generous President DeGioia merely said “$45,000.”

At press time, former New York Yankee Captain Derek Jeter tweeted: “Jeff is the man. #2tudent”