ICC — A recent Georgetown University study has shown that 80% of Georgetown students would marry other Georgetown students if they could just get the cute boy from the front of class to notice them.

The study reported that, when asked, approximately four out of every five female students surveyed would “definitely marry that one kid if he asked me.”

Researchers says data is still inconclusive on whether following a cute boy back to his apartment is successful in getting him to notice you.

Professor Harold Litshner, the head researcher in this study and an expert on hypothetical human mating rituals, says that marriage between Hoyas  is “almost always a sure thing if you can get the person to notice you.”

Prof. Litshner lists a number of ways to get noticed, including making very brief eye contact when the target turns to look at the clock, exiting the classroom just in front of the target, and talking or laughing loudly with a friend whenever the target is in earshot.

Alum Erin Rodgers, COL ’14, says her fiancé proposed to her after she flipped her hair while they were both waiting in line at Leo’s. “I had never spoken to him before, but I remembered him as the blond guy from Statistics, so I flipped my hair behind my shoulder to get his attention,” says Rodgers, “He got down on one knee right then and there.”

However, some students have found issue with Prof. Litshner’s methods. “I have been accidentally brushing my arm against this really cute boy in CPS for over a month now and he still hasn’t broken up with his girlfriend for me,” says Carly Olsen, SFS ’17.

Of the 20% who claimed they would not “totally marry” that cute boy, 6% are in long distance relationships, 4% are focusing too hard in class to think about boys, and 10% would rather start by just casually hooking up with the boy and hope that that eventually leads to marriage.