In a celebrated move that offers more flexibility to humanities majors, Georgetown College of Arts and Sciences Dean Dr. Jonathan Benson announced this week that the college will begin offering a new “Thoughts, Feelings, and Ideas” (TFI) major. “This is a huge step forward for Georgetown,” said Dr. Benson during Thursday’s press conference. “The majors […]
In an attempt to attract a younger, hipper applicant demographic, Georgetown University has replaced every S on campus with a Z. Assistant Director of Applicant Affairs Marilee Hardy, spoke about the new policy in an exclusive interview with The Heckler. “College ztudentz are a changing breed,” said Hardy, “and we at Georgetown have alwayz made […]
DARNALL HALL – In an act of complete disregard for the future of the university, Sam Hamilton (COL ’18) has reportedly refused to make a customary GUSA Facebook profile picture change. Hamilton’s roommate, Alex Torrence (SFS ’18), expressed disdain for Hamilton’s political ignorance. “I would consider myself a political junkie, and I guess I […]
LEAVEY CENTER– The Georgetown University Student Association (GUSA) released a statement this week saying that this year’s GUSA presidential campaign will be streamlined by allowing anyone who cares even a little to just vote now. “Technically the election isn’t until late February,” said GUSA Press Secretary T.J. Potter (COL ’16). “However, this initiative will […]
MCCARTHY HALL – Sophomore Ellen Koffman (SFS ’17) announced this week that she has never been more thankful for Martin Luther King Jr.’s contributions to the advancement of long weekends. In a statement released last Thursday, Koffman stated, “Recent current events have really made me realize how important King’s work toward promoting our basic […]
WASHINGTON — Local junior Jessica Harding (COL ’16) released a statement yesterday that she is “just too busy” to deal with the crushing weight of responsibility she feels on a daily basis. “I thought I could handle taking on another activity,” said Harding in an exclusive interview, “but it looks like I am going […]
PROSPECT STREET — Sophomore Jonah Andrews reported this Sunday that dressing up for Halloween as South Korean pop star Psy for the third year in a row did not earn him the respect and admiration that it had the past two years. Andrews first dressed as Psy in 2012, after the release of the hit […]
ICC — A recent Georgetown University study has shown that 80% of Georgetown students would marry other Georgetown students if they could just get the cute boy from the front of class to notice them. The study reported that, when asked, approximately four out of every five female students surveyed would “definitely marry that […]
COPLEY LAWN — The University announced this week that they would be organizing a “second tier” Student Activities Fair that will allow the campus’s least enticing clubs to recruit students who were rejected by the exclusive ones. The fair is scheduled to be held next Saturday, after students’ last hopes of being accepted into one […]