HEALY CIRCLE – Following the conclusion of the Homecoming festivities early last week, an overwhelming portion of the class of 2014 has reportedly not left campus.

Members of the class of 2014 have been seen loitering around school buildings, sleeping in dorm common rooms and even attempting to attend classes.

A “Goodbye Alumni” banner will be hung next year at the conclusion of next year’s homecoming.

“We get this kind of thing every year,” remarked Alumni Relations administrator Jeff Kelly. “Our most recent graduates never seem to get the memo that Homecoming Weekend is very much over on Sunday.”

The recent graduates have expressed dissatisfaction with life after Georgetown. Complaints include inflexible schedules, having to work, and a lack of darties.

“My boss doesn’t seem to understand that I’ve never had Friday classes,” observed Matt Pierce (COL ’14).

With nothing else to look forward to, the Class of 2014 has decided to simply continue their careers at Georgetown.

“I feel like I’ve had a great few months experiencing ‘real life’,” commented Amanda Evans (SFS ’14). “It’s just that now I’m ready to come back to Georgetown.”

The Admission’s Office has observed a marked rise in the number of applications from 23-year-olds.

The Georgetown University Police Department released a statement this morning explaining that the Class of 2014 has until Wednesday to vacate the premises or they’ll call the police.