SOUTHWEST QUAD — After nearly a semester of sitting next to each other in U.S. Political Systems and playing in the same fantasy football league, acquaintances Frank Bellamy (SFS ’16) and Javier Marquez (COL ’17) reportedly have no idea whether they should stop and talk to each other when they cross paths on campus.

Their dilemma came to a head on Wednesday afternoon when Bellamy and Marquez passed each other outside Southwest Quad. Both young men reportedly slowed to a leisurely pace and exchanged pleasantries, only to start laughing and nodding nervously at each other, eventually continuing on without conversing. The interaction left both students searching for answers.

Nowhere is safe from uncomfortable pleasantries now.

“I really thought we were going to chat for at least a minute,” Marquez said. “I talk to him for at least five minutes every Monday and Wednesday, and we chatted for a solid twenty-five at our buddy Jim’s party last weekend. That’s enough for a ‘stop and talk,’ right?”

“My plan was to just go with a head nod,” Bellamy said. “But then he put on the brakes and looked ready to start a conversation, so I couldn’t just blow him off. See, I have a hierarchy. It goes ‘head nod,’ ‘verbal hello,’ then ‘stop and talk.’ Javier is a great guy, but until I shotgun with him at a party, even a verbal hello is a stretch.”

For Shane Wellington, a mutual friend who introduced Bellamy and Marquez to each other, the issue is a complicated one.

“I can see how it would be a tough call for both guys,” Wellington said. “Stop and talks can be major bro moments, but if you try one and botch it, everybody around you knows it’s awkward. I mean, is there anything worse than a conversation that continues after two people walk past each other? Someone always trips trying to walk backwards and talk, it’s awful.”

When asked about the prospects for their next encounter, Bellamy and Marquez revealed very different plans.

“I’m seriously considering acting like I’m on the phone,” said Bellamy. “At least that gives me the ‘surprised hello’ option. No harm, no foul.”

“I already have a witty line about our upcoming fantasy football matchup ready to go,” Marquez said. “It’s part trash talk, part obscure NFL reference. He’ll have to respond.”

At press time, reports indicated that Marquez and Bellamy had been consciously avoiding each other for twenty minutes while both were shopping at Vital Vittles.