RED SQUARE—Noting that there are many other, less-likely-to-carry-unwelcome-responsibility-to-full-term fish in the sea, sophomore Ben Storch (Col ’16) reportedly reminded himself Tuesday not to sleep with that cute girl tabling for Vita Saxa.  “She can believe what she wants, I’m a feminist after all, but taking that girl back to my dorm is seriously tempting fate,” said Storch of the although tremendously cute and very attractive girl who possesses strong views about where life begins.  “Getting with that girl from the Vita Saxa table is a gamble that I’m not willing to take.  She’s probably against contraception too, which means I’d have to raw dog it, and at that point, the creation of a zygote seems inevitable.  Bottom line, sex with this girl would be a death sentence.  Well, for me, at least.”  At press time, Storch was seen staring longingly at a hi-res photo of the girl from the Vita Saxa table and googling the term “pull-out effective?”