WHITE GRAVENOR- 65 year old student Joe Tucci (COL ‘17) arrived to class last week proud of his Psychology term paper on schizophrenia. Not only was this veteran of Vietnam and the Carter administration proud of his critical analysis but he beamed as he proudly stated he had typed it. On a computer.

“Coming back to college to finish my degree I was worried about not having been in a classroom since ‘69. But more than anything, I have an inherent distrust of computers. They just think they’re too smart.”

Despite false attributions of computer’s deviant motives, Tucci begrudgingly typed his term paper. But to his dismay, the class’ TA refused to accept his paper as it was turned in on a floppy disk.

The Psychology class TA Megan Pulowski, a 2nd year graduate student, was dismayed at the arcane technology.

“What am I supposed to start accepting papers via carrier pigeon? Because I’ll tell you what, using floppy disks, or transcribing papers from telegraphs, or whatever, was not in the position’s description. My stipend is not big enough for that.”

However, when other students in the class were asked, many were sympathetic to Tucci’s cause.

“I mean maybe we should all start doing that. Lord knows I’ve destroyed 3 MacBooks this semester out of frustration with Blackboard,” said Steph Jumanski (NHS ‘18). “Plus I like Joe. He did his portion of our group project on time and he has all of these hilarious anecdotes from Watergate. He does smell like egg salad, but so does my grandfather.”

Tucci is currently petitioning the College Dean’s office to allow his disk to be accepted. Though in fairness, Tucci does not seem to be aware that his paper is currently stored on the original Gelardin computer.

After his last meeting in the Dean’s office, Tucci was seen delicately inserting his disk into his overcoat pocket along with several partially used Kleenexs and a hard candy.