11:14 am

Hello, Georgetown community.  As part of a series we’ll be doing at the Heckler about study drugs and their impact on student health, I’ve decided to take 20 mg of adderall on this Sunday and try to get my homework done.  I’ll update this page regularly so you can all keep up.  It takes a lot to get me to be productive – this drug is punching above it’s weight! Anyway, I’ll start with cleaning my room.  Here goes nothin’!

11:32 am

Okay, only 28 minutes to clean my room.  That’s faster than usual.  I am feeling a slight buzz, but nothing crazy.  I’ll try and do some of my Human Rights in International Relations homework, I have an essay due later this week.

1:02 pm

Wow, that’s the fastest I’ve ever written a 7 page paper.  Well, it had to be 7 pages, but I may have written a bit over 20. I guess I am feeling more focused and energetic. I chose to write about deforestation in South America and the relocation of tribal peoples.  Maybe I’ll post it online and see what people think.

1:29 pm

My paper is already generating some buzz!  The Washington Post, BBC, and CNN already picked it up and apparently it’s been blowing up on Twitter and Facebook in Brazil!  Hmm, maybe I’m a better writer than I thought.

2:11 pm

Just heard on the radio that Brazilian revolutionaries have been spreading my word throughout Amazonian tribes by way of pamphlet.  I mean, I’m glad people are reading it but I don’t want this to get too out of hand.  Also, does anyone know how to upload on Blackboard?

3:30 pm

Alright, as a representative of The Heckler, I feel like I need to apologize for the armed insurrection of tribal peoples going on right now in Brazil.  Despite their rallying cry for me as the “Lenin of the Amazon”, I think the responsibility should be placed elsewhere.  It’s not like I started the problems, I just pointed them out. I do stand by my paper, but I don’t think overthrowing a democratic regime is necessary.  Anyway, it doesn’t look like I have much say in the matter.

3:46 pm

I am in Brazil now.

4:12 pm

The Confederation of Indigenous Peoples has won political control over a majority of the rain forest and has unanimously elected me as their leader.  The housing is a pretty cool 100 square foot mud-thatch hut. (better than Darnall, am I right?!  Ha ha, just kidding).  Also, commanding a standing army would look good on a résumé, so I think I’ll go through with it – as long as they give me some quiet space to finally finish this homework.  Speaking of which, shouldn’t I be more productive on this drug?

4:40 pm

No one talks about how adderall does NOT make Yik Yak any less distracting!  Maybe I’ll take 5 mg more and see if I can finally bust out the rest of this econ homework.

5:16 pm

I am now fluent in the Amazonian dialect of Rikbaktsá, and am known to my people as “Nuuk Tso’o’om Tuucha”.  That’s kind of nice, I’ve always wanted a nick name.

We call our land Puksik’al and we are thriving.  Oppressed people around the world now look at us as a shining bastion of peace and cooperation in an otherwise dark and unjust world.

P.S.  Is it safe to drink coffee while on adderall?  Is that too much stimulant?  There are no doctors here.

6:20 pm

I’ve been working on this Econ assignment for a while now, but I still don’t think I really get the concept of labor supply.

Speaking of labor supply, Puksik’al  is now my agrarian utopia.  Well, I shouldn’t say “my”, since we’ve more or less abolished the concept of ownership.  The great iik’ of the land unites us and makes property unnecessary.  We raise our children communally and share each other’s spouses.

Puksik’al-ians appear peaceful amongst each other, but let the world know that we can and will mercilessly crush any force that dares to disrupt our flawless community.

8:44 pm

Maybe I’m just not taking enough.  How many milligrams are in a fistful?  I’ll do that.

8:48 pm

Productivity is a false concept.  Productivity is how you think of “work” divided by the time it takes to do that work, but time is a social construct for humans spiraling towards their deaths.  I have seen Truth.  I will now refer to time only how it appears to me sonically.

{BLORGFLERBEL}

I think I’m really feeling the “high” effect of adderall now.  This gov homework is easier to workout than usual.  Well, okay, it’s not “gov homework” as much as it’s “the CIA has detained my family and will not release them until I tell my followers to lay down their weapons and end my siege of Río”.

This is so cool.  Do you think this is a bad time to go for a Pentagon internship?

{KORTCH}

I made it back to campus.  Hachäk’yum-dammit, the walk back to Henle is so long!  Hopefully the roomies will be cool with me bringing back a harem.

1:26 am

I’m done with my homework.  Well, some of it.  I think I’ll just finish more when I wake up.

My final grade of Adderall?  4/10.  I like to think I had a pretty traditional adderall trip, and I got nothing done.  Leading a revolution was cool and I definitely got some good work experience, but I need to get more done.

Maybe next weekend.