LEO’S – Referring to it as an “infatuation” he “simply cannot control,” Jackson Hiatt (COL ’16) claims that the sexual tension between himself and the Leo’s omelette maker has reached an “almost unbearable” level.

“I remember the first time I ordered an omelette. It was a Sunday morning in late September. The overcast skies seemed to mirror the dreariness of my life, as I had a hangover and zero romantic pursuits at that point. That’s when I first laid eyes on her. I didn’t believe in love at first sight until that fateful day,” recounts Hiatt.

Hiatt insists that his love is “not just some childish infatuation.”

“I feel butterflies in my stomach, from the moment I fill out my order sheet until she finally beckons to me with those beautiful words: ‘Omelette up.’ One time we made eye contact, and just the way she looked at me, it was almost as if she literally knew nothing about me. Not my past or any of the mistakes I made. She saw me for me: a lovesick kid who loves her omelettes.”

There is no written rule that forbids Hiatt from pursuing a romantic relationship with the Leo’s employee, although even if there were, he claims that there is nothing out there that could deter him, saying, “When her omelettes are inside me, I feel like I can do anything. I must have her.”

The junior also reports that the next time he orders an omelette, he feels he will finally have the courage to make his “first move” by writing his cell phone number on the order slip.