HENLE – A writer for the Georgetown Heckler was seen attempting to gain popularity by advertising his position as a writer at various parties and social events.

While in attendance at fraternity party last Friday night, bystanders report that this writer asked everyone what organizations they were in, and then fervently waited for them to return the question.

“Yeah, when I finally asked him what he did outside of class, he lit up and went on a twenty minute rant about how cool it was that he wrote for the Heckler. It was a little much”, reported Annie Fairman, (COL ’18). Ms. Fairman confirmed that she was not the only victim of this tactic, though it had no success.

The hosts of the same party stated that this writer left alone behind a group of attractive sophomore girls, loudly talking on the phone about how his article was such a success and that everyone thought he was hilariously. Supposedly not one of them noticed.

Party-goers at Village A have informed the rest of the Heckler staff that this writer made an appearance later that night. Said correspondents described how this writer started randomly injecting quotes from his own articles in conversation.

“Most of the time it made no sense! First we were talking about how bitchy the GUPD officers have been lately, and then he randomly started talking about how funny that ‘last tree’ article was. It got annoying!” exclaimed Rosa Hilton (COL’ 17), who was also accosted by this writers increasingly bold strategies.

The host of the party, Michael Xie (SFS ’15), finally asked this writer to leave after he was seen with a large sign stating, “TALK TO ME I WRITE FOR THE HECKLER”.

Michael Xie agreed to comment. “I didn’t know what the fuck he was up to. Where did he even get that sign? It must have been ten feet across.”

This writer was last seen sadly walking back to his room alone.