The profile picture that could have been.

DARNALL HALL – In an act of complete disregard for the future of the university, Sam Hamilton (COL ’18) has reportedly refused to make a customary GUSA Facebook profile picture change.

Hamilton’s roommate, Alex Torrence (SFS ’18), expressed disdain for Hamilton’s political ignorance. “I would consider myself a political junkie, and I guess I was just hoping that that would’ve rubbed off on him. I don’t think he’s seen a single episode of The West Wing.”

“He’s really a disappointment to the community,” said Marnie Reed (COL ’18), an avid reader of the weekly GUSA emails. “This is democracy in action, and he’s showing us that it clearly doesn’t matter to him.  You know who else doesn’t care about democracy? Communists.”

“Students need to know that every profile picture change matters. The race comes down to strong campaigners willing to put aside ‘likes’ for the betterment of Georgetown,” said current GUSA president Trevor Tezel (COL ’15).  “We’re really proud of everyone who’s running for GUSA. And we’re really proud of ourselves for making such great changes this year. And we’re really proud of anyone who gets involved. We’re basically proud of everyone except for Sam Hamilton.”

At press time, Hamilton confirmed his disinterest in the forces that bind civil society by reportedly using a campaign flyer to throw away his gum.