RED SQUARE – In a last-minute deviation from their traditional condomgram campaign, H*yas for Choice has begun distributing “NuvaRing Grams” to promote safe sex this Valentine’s Day.

Despite their rigorous promotion of “condomgrams,” in which individuals can purchase condoms for their friends, significant others, and potential sexual partners to be posted on their doors on Valentine’s Day, H*yas for Choice President Abby Grace released a statement Friday announcing that the organization will be distributing NuvaRings instead.

“The condoms were a great way to encourage people to practice safe sex, but they’re limited to one use, and there are the common complaints of how sex isn’t as pleasurable. So we asked ourselves, ‘how can we take birth control to the next level?’ and we found our answer in the NuvaRing,” said Grace as she taped twenty-seven vaginal rings to President DeGioia’s door.  “The NuvaRing is great because once it’s been inserted, you can pretty much completely forget about it. Outta sight, outta mind.”

Despite H*yas for Choice’s enthusiasm about the change, some students have expressed dismay with the organization’s failure to deliver condoms as promised.

“I bought a condom for my boyfriend, but now he’s got a NuvaRing,” said girlfriend Rebecca Costrado (COL ’15).  “I just put it in, but I read on their website that it doesn’t protect against pregnancy for one to two weeks after insertion.  I guess it’s just a mutual masturbation kind of night.”

When making the decision to distribute NuvaRing Grams, H*yas for Choice considered that issues may arise.

“Since this is our first year trying this, we expected some setbacks,” said H*yas for Choice member Kathy Sullivan (SFS ’17).  “For example, guys can’t use them, they don’t protect against STDs, they may not protect against pregnancy until seven days after they’ve been inserted, and some of the girls who receive them may be uncomfortable with the idea of having to insert something like that into their bodies.  But they look like tiny plastic hula-hoops!  How cute is that?”

At press time, H*yas for Choice announced that they will be sending “Mandatory Follow-Up Doctorgrams” to all NuvaRing recipients next week to determine if the NuvaRing Gram was ‘right for them.’