GEORGETOWN – In a recent announcement to the Georgetown student body, a shivering Vice President of Student Affairs Todd Olson has effectively banned snowballs from the entire university. “Unfortunately, the campus community just cannot be trusted with the privilege to hurl snow at each other,” Olsen said while drinking a hot cocoa, “It just saddens me to know that students would hurt one another in the name of a good time.” As Olson continued to clean snow out of his ear, he made it clear that he would never be the butt of a joke again. “This week it’s snowballs, last week it was footballs, and I will not have students recklessly throwing things in my place of work.” At press time, President DeGioia was comforting Olson, telling him the students didn’t mean to hurt him.