GEORGETOWN, DC – While standing in line to see the popular new film Fifty Shades of Grey, a local girl was overheard telling friends how disgusting pornography is. “Porn objectifies women, and it creates really unrealistic expectations for sex,” the girl stated loudly to friends also waiting to see the film, which is rated R for featuring a velvety sex room and scenes of graphic intercourse with a model-esque millionaire. “One day, I hope women in the entertainment industry will not be confined by men’s sick fetishes,” agreed another girl, anticipating Jamie Dornan’s portrayal of the fashionable, rich, fit, and sexily troubled Christian Grey. When asked, the girls claimed to be watching Fifty Shades “for the story.”