Photo via Huffington Post
36th STREET– In a miraculous turn of events sure to be retold for years to come, Andrew Watkins (COL ’16) rose from the floor of his townhouse this morning for the first time after slipping into an alcohol-induced coma three days earlier. According to eye-witness reports, Watkins hosted a party in his home late Thursday night that did not end until dawn of the next day, at which point Watkins proceeded to find a spot on the floor that was not covered with empty beer cans and fall asleep.
In the weeks leading up to the party, Watkins had established a campus-wide reputation of generosity, with one peer describing him as a “chill guy who always has your back.”
“Watkins really sacrificed a lot for the rest of us to host such a killer party,” according to one of his roommates, Jeff Morelock (SFS ’16). “He got the booze, spread the word, really just took one for the team so that the rest of us wouldn’t have to worry and could just have a good time.”
Several other attendees of the party stated that the party was one of the better ones they had been to in a while, until a few police officers showed up to break it up at around 5:00 AM, responding to a noise complaint.
“We weren’t even being that loud,” said Kelly Wiland (COL ’16), “I bet it was that one loser, Lucas Priscariot. He and Andrew had gotten into an argument earlier that day, and I think Lucas called the cops to get back at him.”
Finding himself alone in his home and having only the mess from the party to give him any indication of what had happened that night, Watkins was reportedly quite confused and distraught to find that he had slept for three days straight.
“I had 136 missed calls from my mom, and missed my flight home. I really have no idea how I’m going to explain this one to my parents,” said Watkins, “but I must say, that was one damn good Friday.”