In an attempt to attract a younger, hipper applicant demographic, Georgetown University has replaced every S on campus with a Z.

Assistant Director of Applicant Affairs Marilee Hardy, spoke about the new policy in an exclusive interview with The Heckler.

“College ztudentz are a changing breed,” said Hardy, “and we at Georgetown have alwayz made an effort to keep up with their needz.”

Hardy told the Heckler that she thinks the current group of incoming students looks “pretty lame.”

“I don’t mean to be harsh, but unlezz we want Georgetown to perzizt in accepting complete lozerz, we need to modernize our image. Thiz iz the perfect and only way to accomplish that goal.”

Administration is implementing this policy in small increments over the course of the semester, beginning this weekend with Nevilz and finishing by the end of April with Zaint Maryz. Maintenance staff will enact these changes in a number of ways, ranging from small stickers for signs with small text to very large stickers for building names and larger signs.

President DeGioia confirmed his support for the policy, saying “This initiative iz just another way that Georgetown iz reaffirming our commitment to Cura Perzonaliz. We acknowledge the needs of a new generation of ztudentz, thuz maintaining our dedication to Jezuit Valuez.”

However, some students have shown concern about the change.

“I’m afraid that the new policy will attract prospective students that are a little too rebellious and free-spirited to keep up with Georgetown’s competitive atmosphere,” said Sophomore Amy Collins (SFS ’17). “I mean, I don’t think I want this campus overrun with a bunch of blue-haired, tatted-up skateboarders.”

At press time, administrators were debating whether to mandate that each instance of the words “to” and “too” be replaced by the numeral “2.”