BAGHDAD – Iraqi officials expressed concern Wednesday evening that the United States has been flirting with younger, hotter conflicts around the Middle East.

“Iraq has been the U.S.’s primary engagement in the Middle East for over a decade, but now we’ve seen pretty obvious displays of the U.S. cozying up to Iran. They’re not even trying to hide it, which is frankly insulting. We’re also worried about them getting involved with Syria and Yemen,” said Iraqi Prime Minister Haidar al-Abadi.

The development of new sectarian conflicts in the war-torn regions of Damascus and Sanaa has re-focused American attention. Iraq, the U.S.’s longtime partner in pointless conflicts that do nothing but consume American lives and money, anticipates that they’ll have a difficult time facing an official breakup if and when it occurs.

“Don’t you remember the good old days in 2006 during our civil war, when you guys had 166,000 troops here?” said al-Abadi to his United States counterpart. “If you want to bomb other people, you should just tell me straight.”

American officials have stated that they are looking for a more lively, hotter conflict to spice things up.

“Iraq has been great, but the U.S. wants a pointless bloodbath that is more spontaneous and willing to try out some new things. We’ve been involved with Iraq for 12 years now, and it’s just a little boring to fight Sunni militants in Fallujah over and over again,” said CIA Director John Brennan. “No offense.”

American interest in Iraq seemed to peak again with the rise of ISIL in Northern Iraq, but the rekindled relationship was put aside after American firepower proved less virile than in the past.

“Honestly, we’ve had our eyes on Yemen for a long time,” said Brennan. “We need to move on from Iraq and get a new start. I’m definitely looking to invest some high-caliber military assets in Yemen, if you know what I mean.”