The Georgetown Heckler

News | April 30, 2015

Written-up Pre-Law Student Cites “Right to Assemble” as Explanation for 45 People in Dorm

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VILLAGE C – In a student conduct hearing on Friday Gary Kim (COL ’18) cited his first amendment “right to assemble” in defense of his alleged “dope ass pregame.”

 

“The judicial board was very confused when I plead not guilty to the charges of alcohol possession and noise violations,” said Kim after his hearing. “I just came from my gopackedvernment class and was not about to have my constitutional right to party infringed upon.”

 

The Heckler was able to obtain a copy of the incident report, which read:

 

“Noise equivalent to that of an F-15 Airstrike Eagle Jet Engine was coming from Harbin 903. The RA on duty knocked on and then opened the door of the residence, at which point the 8 people packed up against it spilled out into the hallway. An individual standing on a stack of 7 Natural Light beer cases that was later identified as resident Gary Kim yelled, ‘Fuck the RA’s; every man for himself!’At this point, the crowd attempted to vacate the room – but due to the over-packing of the dorm, most were taken into custody. The GOcards of 45 students and one professor were collected. Gary Kim was not cooperative at first demanding a lawyer before eventually giving his information. Overall, 23 cases of Natural Light beer, 15 handles of Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey, and 12 handles of Burnett’s Premium Vodka were recovered.”

 

When questioned about the quantity of alcohol found in the room, Kim responded, “We didn’t drink. In fact, we were there to prevent underage drinking. The First Amendment guarantees people the right to peacefully assemble – and myself, 45 peers, and one brave professor intended to do just that. We bought that alcohol so no one else could.”

 

Kim was ultimately fined $20 for a noise violation and all other alcohol related charges were dropped. He is only the second student in Georgetown history to cite his first amendment rights in defense of his underage debauchery, the first being dorm party legend Bill Clinton in 1964.

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