MINSK, Belarus – After months of patiently waiting for Russia to make the first move, Belarusian President Alexander Lukashenko publicly announced that his country “would be a great boon to anyone who might try to appropriate its lands.”

Lukashenko, after considering of Russia’s political maneuvers in Ukraine last year, said he fully expected for Russia to try to the same with the “great asset… I mean, proud country that is Belarus”. He added, however, that he has spent the last few months disappointed.

“Why Ukraine? What do they have? Obviously I do not want Russia to actually invade, but why wouldn’t they want to? Belarus is great and strong! Our people are hardworking! We have military compounds that Russia could use to… nevermind, Belarus is great!” said the exasperated President earlier this week.

According to Lukashenko and his staff, the justifications that Russia could give for entering and assuming control of the minor Eastern European country were numerous.

“It would be horrible if we entered a conflict with our aggressive neighbor of course, but we in the state department are sure that if Putin can get away with Ukraine, he could do the same here. Our population is almost 10 percent Russian. I don’t understand what the holdup is,” spoke the Minister of Foreign Affairs, Vladimir Makei.

Belarusians shared similar sentiments about the recent conflicts in their area of the world.

One such, Dmitri Maskevich, explained that, “those shits in Ukraine always get everything. I mean I don’t want to lose my home or have my country pushed to its capacity due to an imperialistic threat, but am I wrong for thinking even an attempt wouldn’t be flattering?”

At press time, Lukashenko was spotted angrily pointing to a map about Ukraine and muttering about warm water ports.