COPLEY LAWN – After making the decision to tell his friends about the “crazy dream” he had last night, Wes Brummer (COL ’17) recounted the story whilst elegantly editing out the part where he had filthy sex with everyone in his audience.

Brummer was reportedly nervous about his ability to maintain a cohesive narrative, while leaving out the part of the dream where he engaged in “despicable and ravenous sex” with his acquaintances, but decided that the dream was important enough to make an attempt despite the challenges presented.

“When it comes to dreams, I feel like people always assume that the sex scenes are absolutely vital to the essence of the story,” said Brummer, “but when it comes to telling people about my dreams, I want to be a trailblazer. I want to show our over-sexualized world that not every anecdote from my subconscious needs to include graphic sexual intercourse.”

During the retelling, Brummer reportedly made multiple saves after nearly mentioning explicit plot points.  When he recounted the part about scarfing down a whole bowl’s worth of Leo’s stir fry in only a few seconds, he failed to mention the part where his hands were tied behind his back and the the stir fry was spread across his lab partner’s face.

“I really didn’t think the dream would still make sense if you left out the part where I penetrated a giant squirrel, but you know what, somehow, I found a way to make it work.”

According to an inside source, Brummer’s friends are sick and tired of him describing his “boring ass” dreams, but would definitely be interested in the unedited versions.