HEALY HALL — The president’s office issued a formal denial on Saturday in response to growing suspicion within the Georgetown community that a January 7th email from Chris Augostini banning hoverboards was motivated by a recently-posted Vine of University President John DeGioia “eating shit” after trying to step on to a hoverboard. “In the spirit of transparency I want to stress that the rationale for this decision comes solely from several instances of fires caused by Hoverboard’s lithium-ion batteries and has nothing to with the six second video currently circulating social media,” said DeGioia on Saturday while adjusting the cast on his left wrist that he will be wearing for the next 5-7 weeks as a result of dropping flat on his ass. “I don’t think I believe a word of that press conference. I heard he made the decision after [Provost] Bob Groves wouldn’t stop calling him ‘Georgetown’s first president without any balance,’” said Senior Isaac Marchaud (COL ’16) who claimed to have heard secondhand that the fall occurred when several senior administrators met up in a Burleith alleyway after a campus planning meeting to try out Vice President for Student Affairs Todd Olson’s new “swagway”. At press time, several dozen students who planned to ride their hoverboards back to campus were scrambling to make alternate travel plans.