SOHO, NY – Local abstract artist and New York native Elouise Singer made a shocking discovery Wednesday during a long overdue trip to her eye doctor, where she learned that her eyesight was far less than perfect, often blurring images and distorting colors.
“I guess I always just thought that I was painting everything the same way that everyone else saw it, I never really got the whole ‘abstract thinker’ label,” Singer stated. “But the picture of a busy street corner that I tried to paint looks more like an acid trip I had during college than anything else.”

According to Jessica Herbert, Singer’s optometrist, the NYU graduate could barely make out the top letter on the eye chart but was eager to explain what the triangle of smudgy letters represented to her.

“She kept going on and on about how the chart symbolized how society is made up of smaller parts individually but we all come together to make a whole” Herbert told reporters. “I’m not saying she’s wrong, just that she’s probably needed glasses for at least 10 years now”.

Singer admitted that she only wound up at the Lens Crafters office in the first place because she mistook it for an Arby’s.

The 24 year old whose critically acclaimed abstract work used to fetch upwards of $8,000 a piece, now displays her drawings of everyday objects at the local Starbucks, where they sell for about the same price as a used toaster oven.

“On the bright side,” Singer told reporters, “my ability to read the menu at Panera has improved remarkably and I haven’t been in a car accident in almost a month.”

At press time, sources confirm Singer was seen breaking up with her longtime boyfriend of six years for “an irreconcilable change in his appearance”.