IN CLASS –  The school year has rolled around once again and amphibious Freshman Eugene Gloger (COL ‘22) was not prepared. The professor already told the class about herself and it became time for her to learn a little bit more about her students. She wanted all of the students to share their name and just one interesting fact about themselves. Sitting down with The Heckler, Gloger reports “I was nervous and probably would have sweat if I had that capability.”

The very first student shared that she was a swimmer. Gloger knew that his peers didn’t want to hear about just another swimmer, so he scrambled to think of a whole new fact. He recalls adjusting his vertebrae and opening his gills in an attempt to get more air so that he could focus.

The next student to speak said that he liked to eat crawfish. “I thought this would have been a good one for me to say, Gloger explained, “but after it had been said already it didn’t even matter anymore.” In his exasperation, he remembers pondering why he couldn’t think of cool interesting facts like his new college classmates and thinking that the others might judge him for his lack of creativity. He wondered if it was just nerves or if the classroom was too cool to support life for cold blooded creatures.

Reports indicate that when at last the professor read his name off the list, he warbled out, “My name is Eugene, I am from Salt Lake, and I only spent three weeks in the larvae stage before going through metamorphosis, growing limbs, and being able to breath oxygen.” After saying this, he remembers thinking, “Come on Eugene. That just sounded like a brag. Imagine what your new classmates are going to think.”