WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Watergate Hotel, a staple of Washington’s tourist scene, has come under fire this week like never before. The Watergate – an institution famous for its unique architecture, complete makeover in the 1980’s, and continental breakfast – risks a permanent stain on its sterling reputation. Manager Ogden Weizenbaum’s mishandling of revenue cost the hotel hundreds of dollars and the trust of even its most reliable patrons. All this coming from the hotel that once hosted the likes of Bob Doll, Alan Greenspan, Placido Domingo, and even the Democratic National Convention? The Heckler had to take to the streets in order to get a sense of the pulse of this reeling city.
We asked pedestrians what they thought about the scandal at the Watergate Hotel. One man responded: “Well Nixon resigned, didn’t he?” We at the Heckler can confirm that Nixon did indeed resign in 1974, but we really didn’t understand what that had to do with Weizenbaum’s transgressions. After receiving more similar answers, we decided we would have to revise the question. We were clearly dealing with an uninformed populace excluding all things Richard Nixon, on whom they were inexplicably fixated.
We decided to poll the streets to see what the people thought we should name the scandal. After all, a catchy name like “Brexit” or “OJ Simpson” can really provide a scandal with the momentum it needs to enter the public consciousness. We described Mr. Weizenbaum’s misconduct and asked local passersby to provide us with their juiciest, most scandalous nickname. Only minutes after beginning, a woman who didn’t wish to be photographed or to provide us with a name said, “I don’t know, Watergategate?” We at the Heckler thought this brilliant. She was playing off the names of other huge scandals such as “deflategate” or “celebgate” and adapting them to fit the name of this particular hotel. The Heckler would like to be the first publication to use this appropriate and catchy epithet so, henceforth and forthwith, the huge scandal at the Watergate hotel will be known as Watergategate.
