As a member of Love Saxa, you well know the perils of both the arcane magicks of the Devil’s consorts and the noxious vapors that hath brought plague down upon our fyne club. Determine the cause of your current misfortune quickly, lest your soul be shriven!

1. Hath ye, of late, been possessed by an incurable melancholy?

1. No, but the weeping sores in my mouth have troubled me plenty.
2. Aye, ever synce that insolent temptress hath crosst my path my soul hath been most unquiet.
3. Aye, but that hath more to do with the constant upbraidings I receive from Goodwife Brown, a person more vile to the soul than any curse.

2. What sayeth the Magistrate of your predicament?

1. He hath called for the stoning of Goodwife Brown, not due to witchcraft, but on account of     her quarrelsome nature.
2. I do not know, the weeping flux pustules hath clogged my ears with a thin, fine, fluid.
3. The Magistrate hath been MIGHTILY bewitched, his words were no more than demonic howling.

3. Canst thou identify other instances of magicks?

1. Scores of cattle have perished, but that draws its cause more from Goodwife Brown’s abrasive personality than any infernal machinations.
2. Numerous God-fearing citizens hath fallen ill, but I cannot be certain if this is the result of Satan-worship or the diarrhea in the communal well.
3. That comely seductress hath retained all of her teeth thus far, a clear indication of some charm or glamour being rendered upon her person.

4. Here comes that fair-haired strumpet now, what doth you suggeste might serve as a suitable penance?

1. Scores of cattle have perished, but that draws its cause more from Goodwife Brown’s abrasive personality than any infernal machinations.
2. Numerous God-fearing citizens hath fallen ill, but I cannot be certain if this is the result of Satan-worship or the diarrhea in the communal well.
3. That comely seductress hath retained all of her teeth thus far, a clear indication of some charm or glamour being rendered upon her person.

TOTALS:

0-3: Who cares, this quiz makes no sense.

4-6: You are neither intrinsically worse, nor intrinsically better, for having a score like this relative to any other score. No difference at all.

7: HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE THE BLOODYE FLUX.

8-12: Again, this is all meaningless. But congratulations, if that makes you feel any sense of accomplishment.