Ah, yes, the classic coming-of-age struggle of ridding oneself of all earthly desires in the name of total enlightenment while also trying to bust every now and then. We at the Heckler know the difficulty of balancing one’s Buddhist intentions while looking like an absolute 10/10, so we have compiled a short listicle of 5 […]

Mark your calendars, ladies and gents: my uncle is finally hauling ass to the Hilltop this coming Family Weekend, and he’ll be whiling away his days in the District invading the personal space of countless Georgetown undergraduates. Steel yourselves for his sweaty palms, folks, and keep in mind that whatever he does is a sign […]

Students in the Yates men’s locker room this past Wednesday came in for a shock when the man who was once the leader of the nation’s response to the COVID pandemic utilized the gymnasium’s facilities with little to no regard for basic norms of modesty. Dr. Anthony Fauci, a recipient of the Presidential Medal of […]

Ferdinand Magellan, Neil Armstrong, Frodo Baggins – all of these bold adventurers of old pale in comparison to Jake, your next-door neighbor. He sashays barefoot through the diverse ecosystem that is your floor’s communal bathroom, with no regard for his own safety or health. Such brazen defiance is not without consequences, as the entirety of […]

GEORGETOWN — Associate Professor Charles Mulvicky has come under fire recently for his zero-tolerance policy towards late work. The Heckler was able to reach Professor Mulvicky for comment in his office in New North. “Turning in your work late is disrespectful to me, and to all of your classmates who got their work done on […]

GEORGETOWN — The widespread Hoya enthusiasm surrounding this year’s commencement was disrupted this morning after an announcement by the Office of the President that the aforementioned ceremonies would be held exclusively in Farsi.  The announcement stated that “In order to achieve an in-person graduation ceremony we had to make some sacrifices, including limiting the number […]

As the Heckler’s chief sports reporter, I have covered numerous sporting events spanning a decades-long body of work. This year was my first covering the Masters, and I must admit that I found the atmosphere stifling. The dress code, noise, and distance restrictions were onerous and as a result I was asked to leave on […]

Before the pandemic, Mrs. Winter’s 5th grade class shared custody of Cupcake, a 3 year old hamster, with each student getting a turn to bring a furry friend home for the weekend. Cupcake’s travel plans, like so many other’s, have been put on hold recently, due to the pandemic. While virtual school has resumed, health […]

EPICUREAN AND COMPANY—.   Open 24 hours on weekends, and a party that doesn’t require club connections or friends, Epi is the Vill A Rooftop of dining. So when the other thing you just showed up to inevitably gets shut down, there is no better solution than to buy yourself some plans for the low low […]