In what should be disturbing news for all red-blooded patriots at Georgetown University, the investigative journalism division of The Heckler recently uncovered damning evidence that the repressive regime of The Caravel is currently using their office to hide weapons of mass destruction.

Don’t believe us? Well, just look at the rock-solid evidence:

For one, we found evidence of yellow cake in their offices. We are convinced that any and all birthday parties are mere cover-ups for the purpose of smuggling these these powerful nuclear weapons into the Caravel offices.

In  the face of such a dire existential threat, Heckler Editor-In-Chief and leader of the free world Adelaide Mornington demanded that The Caravel open its offices to investigation or face war.

“If you don’t let us go through all your personal information, then we will interpret your inaction as an act of aggression that threatens the stability of the entire University and will be forced to invade and take any food and cool stuff we find in your office. We are confident that this action will have no negative side effects whatsoever,” said the intrepid savior of the human race in a televised address.

“Let me be clear: we will annihilate you, Caravel. None dare challenge the might of The Heckler. I’m talking scorched earth, motherfucker. You will cease to exist. Try me, I dare you.”

This is an ongoing story, more updates to come.