I’m all about nostalgia. The classics. I love Tamagotchi and Dunk-a-roos. Flintstones gummy vitamins. Driving around and looking at Christmas lights with my family. And reading books, not just watching the movie.

I read every Harry Potter book. I didn’t just, “watch the movies,” like all of the other kids did. I want to see things how the author intended them, not how some Hollywood skeezebag decided they should be.

So, you can imagine my surprise and dismay when I went to Green Book to do this review only to find out that it is not a book at all! It’s a movie! I was then forced to sit there for over two hours, just waiting for it to be over. Sure, it was emotional. Sure, it was humorous. But it did not deliver what it promised, so overall, Green Book was a failure for me.

And I wasn’t the only one who was disappointed. I spoke to some other people in the theater, and they all seemed upset, too. A man named Zane Normandy said to me, “No one reads books anymore! It’s those damn screens, ruining everything for everyone.” And I couldn’t agree with Zane more.

1/5 stars