GEORGETOWN- Since the news broke regarding Georgetown University’s involvement in the College Admissions Scandal, campus is abuzz talking about those who faked a place on the tennis team in order to ensure a spot in the school. The rise in attention devoted to the faux tennis players has ruffled the feathers of the formerly most prominent fake athletes on campus: the Georgetown Sailing Team.

“It really is unfair that we put in hours of work per week to make people think we play an actual sport, just for these tennis kids with rich parents to swoop in and snag all our press,” sophomore sailor Alan Jacklin says. “People should talk more about how we think rigging sails makes us athletically gifted.”

“These kids work really hard to pretend to play a sport, and it’s tough as a coach to watch their efforts overshadowed in the media by kids whose parents did it for them,” complained Michael Callahan, head coach of the sailing team. “Day in and day out they carry themselves like they’re real athletes, when everyone knows they’re not, and it goes unnoticed by the rest of the school. Now a few kids pose as tennis players and they get all the articles and news segments about them? It’s a travesty.”

While we at the Heckler have no idea what it means to rig sails, the never-ending work ethic of the Sailing Team to appear as though their craft is physically taxing enormously impressed us. We hope that they start getting their due credit as some of the most dedicated pretend athletes in the nation once the much more interesting fake tennis player scandal falls out of the news cycle.