WESTEROS – Like so many other normal Americans, I fell in love with Game of Thrones immediately. It was so much fun observing the beautiful scenery, navigating the complex storylines, and keeping up with all my favorite characters until their tragic ends. However, after I fell head over heels for Game of Thrones, some of my favorite pornographic viking programs lost their luster. Cinematically, they just didn’t compare. If I had a time machine, I would go back and tell myself to never begin Thrones because it introduces a new paradigm of excellence that quite frankly betrays the genre that bore it.

Now when I pop in a steamy VCR recounting the exploits of a brave scandinavian plunderer, the plots always seem so contrived. The makeup could use some work. They could really add some equipment and manpower to the production side of things. Also, sometimes the wage gap between the Thrones actors and actresses and some of the stars of these titillating tapes really shows itself. And now I find myself focusing only on shortcomings when I use to just appreciate what I thought was very fine cinema. Game of Thrones spoiled all that for me. I think I don’t speak just for myself when I say that maybe it would be best if winter never came.