DARNALL — A dusty Darnall bookshelf was finally put to use recently as Adam Hitchcock (COL ‘23) arrived on move-in day with way more books than he was ever realistically gonna get through. While the sheer masculinity of removing the books from his suitcase and placing them on his bookcase certainly impressed his roommate’s parents, it would also be the last time any of those novels were touched by Adam. 

Early guests of Adam, seemed to pick up on the vast bulk of literature Adam had for seemingly no reason. Rebecca Squeeze (NHS ‘23), who is in the same NSO group as Adam, visited the room, claiming, “There really were a lot of books, but I guess he just really likes reading.” An anonymous source tells The Heckler that Rebecca also brought too many books.
When asked, Adam defended his library, claiming, “I love to read and I always have. I can already imagine myself laying down on Healy Lawn with a good book, maybe a few hours every weekend.” Adam spent his first weekend attending IRC parties without even picking up his first read, The Brothers Karamazov.