Dear Members of the Georgetown University Community:

It is with sincere appreciation for your boundaries that I write this letter to you today. I do not wish to infringe on your personal space. I do not wish to infringe on your comfort zone. But before the day is over, I must ask: would it be okay if I audited your Painting I class?

I have struggled in vain against the pull of the art department for years. I’m not an artist; I’m just me, John. I’m your leader, your educator, your confidant. How could I possibly be so selfish as to audit a class just because the call of the brush lulls me to sleep each night? But I can’t take it anymore. I must paint. So please: would it be okay if I audited your Painting I class?

I know that the classroom is not a place for a president. I want you to feel safe and at ease. But, God, my heart yearns for this. I wish to study the greats: the Dutch impressionists, the surrealists, George W. Bush. I want to finally figure out how to fingerpaint. I want to model for figure study. I will commit myself so whole-heartedly to this class you will forget that I am your president. All I need now is your blessing.

I can get you expelled at any time for any reason. 

Therefore, once more, I implore: would it be okay if I audited your Painting I class?

John