If you’ve ever been concerned about the pedigree of your local water fountain, look no further. Here are six iconic Georgetown (main campus) water fountains ranked by brand, water quality, water pressure, aesthetic, and how close they are to Istanbul, Turkey. 

6. Reynolds 5, Near Women’s Bathroom  

• Brand: Halsey Taylor. A classic, reliable company. This is one of their newer models, however, and the quality has decreased. 
• Water quality: Stale, not refreshing, luke-warm, mildly opaque. 3/10. 
• Water pressure: It was ideal for both water-bottle filling and mouth-to-fountain consumption. 7.5/10.
• Aesthetic: The metal is corroded. The his-and-hers dual set-up does make for some aesthetic improvement. 5/10.
• Distance to Istanbul: 4,054,003 meters. Disappointing. 

• Overall rank: Pretty far from Istanbul. 

5. MSB First Floor, Behind the Bust of Rafik Hariri 

• Brand: Generic. Unassuming.  
• Water quality: Honestly, kind of trashy flavor. The temperature was slightly better, but not daring enough to be icy or boiling. 4/10.
• Water pressure: Epic. Dynamic. Maximized. 9/10. 
• Aesthetic: The baseline style is boring, but the large dent on the right corner is edgy and improves the overall look. 6.5/10
• Distance to Istanbul:  4,053,985 meters. Eh. 

• Overall rank: Slightly closer to Istanbul but not close enough. 

4. The Lau 3 Reading Room 

• Brand: Also a Halsey Taylor, but old. Turn-knob style.
• Water quality: This is the coldest water fountain on campus, and the water tastes as if it is coming from a spring in the Alps. 10/10.
• Water pressure: Also very impressive water pressure. A steady stream.  9/10.
• Aesthetic: The old-fashioned Taylor lets off an unparalleled air of sophistication, but the knob-turning required to dispense water makes it less functional than its modern counterparts. 7/10. 
• Distance to Istanbul:  4,053,700 meters to Istanbul. 

• Overall rank: Hmmm! Getting there. 

3. ICC 1, near the elevators 

• Brand: Yet another Halsey Taylor, more recent generation. 
• Water quality: Very cold, crisp, and flavorful but not in a mysterious-organic-materials way. 9/10. 
• Water pressure: If chaos were a water fountain, it would be located between the bathrooms on ICC 1. The pressure could kill an elephant. It’s off the charts; so aggressive. ??????/10
• Style: Aesthetically atrocious because of the splatter generated by the immense water pressure. 2/10.
• Distance to Istanbul:  4,053,690 meters to Istanbul.

• Overall rank: Very Nice. 

2. Outdoor Water Bottle Station Between Leavey, Reiss, and Arrupe 

• Brand: Mysterious, brandless water bottle filler. All identifying marks had been removed. 
• Water quality: We don’t know! It won’t turn on! 
• Water pressure: Non-existent. 0/10. 
• Aesthetic: Despite not functioning, this filler is grey, beautiful, sleek, ethereal, prominent, and truly unforgettable. 10/10. 
• Distance to Istanbul: 4,053,462 meters. WOW! 

• Overall Rank: Pretty close to Istanbul. 

1. Darnall Mezzanine, next to elevators  

• Brand: Elkay EZh20. This is a brand for joint water fountain and bottle filling apparatuses that have become increasingly popular on campus. 
• Water quality: The flavor and temperature were passable and consistent. 6/10.
• Water pressure: The pressure, from both the bottle filler and the fountain, was strong and dense without being overly intrusive. 8/10.
• Aesthetic: Elkays are generally top-of-the-line in style. The general design was appealing, but the corrosion and possible organic growths on the fountain made the fountain generally unattractive. 4.5/10.
• Distance to Istanbul: 4,053,393 meters. 

• Overall rank: I will be using no other water fountains in the future. I was basically in Istanbul at this point.