Finance major, Derek Crewson (MSB ‘21) bemoans the loss of the Georgetown Basketball Team’s star player just like the rest of the university. However for Crewson, he is sad for a different reason than most.

“He really made my girlfriend, Alexa (COL ‘23), so happy,” explained Crewson. “She is just naturally very attracted to dudes who can dunk!”

Crewson’s friend who wished to not be publicly associated with him in this article reached out to The Heckler for comment saying, “Everybody thinks dunking is hot. Alexa has just brainwashed poor Derek into thinking her and Mac’s relationship is ok.”

Explaining how he and Alexa began dating Derek said, “She saw me at the Leo’s salad bar and noticed that I’m 6’6”. She asked me out immediately. It wasn’t until a couple months later that she realized I physically cannot jump, but we had already fallen into routine at that point and so we couldn’t break up.”

Alexa refused to meet for an interview but her Facebook status update from Sunday reads, “Wizards got 9th pick tho,” potentially indicating an interest in continuing the relationship with McClung past college if convenient.