ROSSLYN – An unassuming Thursday afternoon of family bonding led to one of the greatest war-history discoveries of the modern era. While looking through his father’s old World War II memorabilia, Connor Potter stumbled upon a tarnished old locket with his mother’s initials engraved on the side. When he opened the locket, however, he was only greeted by two bold, bulging breasts. Potter believes this might be the only photo left of his mom’s sweet rack. 

Mr. Potter immediately brought the locket to the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History to try to verify the originality of the relic. The head curator Marshal Octavian Bizbly, in the museum’s official response to Connor, wrote, “Those are definitely your mom’s boobs, I would know. The freckles on the right titty perfectly match my recollection, I mean historical record, of your mom’s boobs.” 

The museum has offered Mr. Potter a recurring $100 payment in order to continue viewing and distributing the photo of his mother’s breasts. The locket remains on loan to Mr. Bizbly for the foreseeable future.  

If you want to see Mr. Potter’s mom’s sweet rack for yourself, the museum reports it will be including the locket in a future installation based around expressions of love during wartime this spring. In the meantime, the locket will be stored at the head curator’s home for safekeeping.