It was a most unusual mass. 

Good Catholics at Dahlgren Chapel were blessed with a much too salty surprise when during Fr. Carnes’ homily, it was discovered that there was not a single scrap of communion lying around. Luckily, some loose red Pringles cans leftover from last month’s food donation drive was their salvation.

“We managed to wriggle our way around this unfortunate mix up. In a pinch, two sleeves of Original Pringle’s can represent the Body of Christ for our parish,” said Father Matthew Carnes in open defiance of religious norms. 

Upon receiving his communion, Catholic sophomore Liam McNulty (COL ‘23) gave his chip one long determined lick before placing it under his tongue and returned to his pew to reflect on this familiar yet exciting experience . “I love Christ, and I love when I can taste the Pringle separated from its flavour.”

Father Carnes defended his controversial decision, claiming that with one’s eyes closed, you cannot tell the difference between a soggy chip devoid of its dusting and Eucharist that was left in the rain. 

Churchgoers had many questions after the initial shock wore off, such as “Why were there Pringles in a chapel in the first place?” “Could ANY flavour of Pringles become a sacrament?” “Can I drink the holy water after consuming the saltiest little wafer I ever did eat?”

Father Carnes only shrugged and waved the people off, with little specks of salt dusting coating his fingers. “We owe this all to the Lord. After all, I am only a vessel for his message.”