It happens to everyone. But not as badly as it happened to Andy Lewis (COL ‘21) the other day in the ICC Galleria. 

“Our TA literally looks like some kind of morphed Jake Gyllenhall,” his friend Julia joked, gesturing towards Andy as if to ask for his confirmation. Ha. He kind of does, thought Andy, with a soft smile.

“In a hot way?” responded Claire, Andy’s girlfriend. 

“Urghh not really? Maybe a little bit.” Julia stopped to ponder. “No, he looks like Jared Leto. Like that kind of hot but maybe not. That’s exactly what it is.” 

Shit, thought Andy. Who is that? I definitely know who that is but who is that. Shit. Don’t ask my opinion. 

“Don’t you think he looks just like Jared Leto?” Julia turned to Andy, thus sealing his doom. Julia, oh ye bringer of hellfire! Why would you Do That !! 

“Ummm yep,” Andy offered, tightlipped. Phew. Just Agree and Move On. He began to sweat. 

“I mean do you think Jared Leto is hot?” Claire interrogated. 

FUCK! “Uhhhh…like…I feel like I haven’t really seen him a lot..” FUCK! 

Julia stopped walking down the ridiculously steep steps by MUG. “What do you mean you haven’t seen him a lot? He’s everywhere!” 

Fuck you Julia not even a context clue? 

“I mean I’m just not like super into–” 

“Andy, do you just not know who Jared Leto is?” Claire turned with the beginnings of a grin on her face.

Claire. I WILL end things. I must make a last-ditch effort to save myself. It might, maybe it is? Maybe–

“Didn’t he write Guns, Germs, and Steel?” 

In the nanoseconds before his companions proceeded to burst out in laughter, Andy understood that his entire reputation and future were ruined.