PENTAGON CITY, VA — Every year, the ridiculously shaped and aptly named Department of Defense headquarters draws tens of confused tourists looking for the Pentagon City Mall and dozens of military-industrial complex hopefuls to its spooky doors. No visitor was quite so moved as an unidentified man this Thursday who caused quite the ruckus. 

“WTF! Does That Large Building Have Five Sides?” the unidentified man yelled in jubilation upon exiting the metro stop, attracting the attention of several snipers hidden throughout the bus stop. “Bro, I Have Never Seen Anything Like That! Ever!”

Bureaucrats and military personnel sidestepped the man as he collapsed in awe. “What Do They CALL This Incredible Five-Sided Government Structure?!?” A passerby gestured to the sign above the highly secured entrance, but the fellow was too lost in marvel to notice.

“Amazing! Amazing! A Large Five-Sided Building!” he shouted with outstretched arms. Taking note of the encroaching sniper team, he gave them a nod and asked:

“WOW Is This Pentagonal Building For Defense? Is This A Pentagonal Building For Defense?!?!? WOW! I Feel Safer Already.”