It’s that time of year again! Sportscenter’s “Top 10” is about to include more slacks and walking than usual. Your acquaintances who’ve kept a good relationship with their father may start lecturing you on the merits of cracks of bats and fresh-cut grass. And our elderly and white ‘n’ scrawny communities, specifically those located in the New York boroughs and mid-size midwestern cities, can take big, satisfied sighs. The MLB is back!

It’s the first 30 or so games in the season, so now’s the time to get acquainted with your team’s new players. Note that almost none of your team’s players are the same as last year’s players. Offseason reshuffling in the name of analytics (thanks, Jonah Hill) ensures that you’ll have an entirely new cast of characters to memorize. Once you’ve assigned your new sluggers and fireballers fun monikers, (some good ones from yesteryear include “Old Hoss” Radbourne, “Dizzy Dean,” and Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown) you can start urging them to stay away from the high cheese. You can even tell them to head back to Triple-A, you turkey. They won’t mind. They get paid to play a sport that is 85 percent standing.

Which teams are good and which teams are bad? It’s too early to tell. There are 200 odd games left to play. But if you’re looking for some speculation, ask your grandmother or a guy named Spencer. They’re bound to have plenty of opinions. Either that or you can wait around to see which of your acquaintances are unexpectedly baseball aficionados. A helpful guide for identifying these people is to take a look at their neck. If they have a huge protrusion on their larynx that bobs a whole bunch when they swallow, feel free to ask them if they think the Yanks can win the pennant.