“That’s better,” Professor Mills-Newhouse says as he takes off his mask after asking the student in the back of the classroom to repeat an incorrect answer for the fourth time. He emphatically nods his head despite still not being able to hear Heather’s hot take and promptly wipes his nose with his hand that he will soon use to pass out that day’s homework. 

“I know these masks are supposed to help, but I just can’t understand anyone ever,” he claimed at the end of class. “But that could also have to do with the fact that I’m going deaf in both ears.” Other favorite activities of Professor Mills-Newhouse include turning down his car’s radio to see traffic more clearly and closing his eyes to taste expensive wine better.