Georgetown Caucasian Studies Department – Due to a critical lack of race and gender studies scholars concerning themselves with the behavior and lived experiences of white men, I have embarked on a cultural inquiry into the nature of the caucasian male and all its nuanced behaviors.  This is an inquiry that has demanded research for decades now, and I am now here to uncover the elusive mystery of the white man. An investigation of White Male behaviors can finally answer such important research questions as “what the fuck?” and more importantly, “no really, like, what the fuck?”  

I have been fortunate to find myself at Georgetown, where there is an overwhelming abundance of white men on whom to conduct this study. Like, there are so many it’s insane.  My early observations have yielded much of interest; one phenomenon that has particularly perplexed me is the act of white men calling one another ‘brother.’ This rare and rather harmless act seems to stick with me no matter how much I try to push forward in my research. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, but also, isn’t there? I genuinely cannot pinpoint what is so unsettling about it – perhaps it is simply the unnatural way the word rolls off the tongue of the cacausian man. I believe understanding this linguistic behavior, the invocation of the ‘brother,’ has to be the crux of my research. I plan on continuing my fearless pursuit of knowledge despite these early, quite disturbing, findings.