HEALY HALL – At approximately 8:43 PM tonight, Provost Robert Groves was on his way to a Henle pregame with the squad, slightly tipsy off a single shot of Smirnoff Citron he took with Dr. Ranit Mishori and Dr. Randy Bass in the VCE lobby. Excited to know where this night would take him and his pals, Robert texted the squad: 

“Let’s go ouuuutttt Tonight guys.”

Geoff Chatas immediately replied; “you know it”

Rosemary Killkenny, J.D. sent a GIF of Jonah Hill saying “I just want to get in bed and watch Friends.” 

Loitering in the Henle Fishbowl, Robert rolled his eyes and texted

“what are the moves?”

President John DeGioia (JDG) replied and Robert’s vibe was totally killed. 

“Its wednesday. Send pianoo” 

Poor Robert was disappointed throughout the entire game of pong and didn’t even kind of sing along when they played Good 4 U. He ended up bailing right after the pregame by exclaiming “I have a rare allergy to 19-year-olds from New Jersey!” and rushing hurriedly back to the safety of his office, hitting his juul a few times and passing out at his desk chair, as one should on a Wednesday night.