As I am sure you, our dedicated readers, already know: we here at The Heckler are absolutely committed to investigative journalism. For that reason, I feel compelled to share with you all that after months of intense research, The Heckler can exclusively – and definitively – report that the “Dr. Ranit Mishori” that you’ve been getting so many emails from is, in fact, a white woman.

This news comes as a complete surprise to the Georgetown community, especially those who thought that the Chief Public Health Officer at the University was a man of South Asian descent. Our reports indicate that the Georgetown South Asian Society intends to retract their “Lifetime Achievement Award” from Dr. Mishori, and that she is also no longer considered an honorary member at large of the Georgetown Minority Pre-Med Association.

But if you are starting to worry about Dr. Mishori’s social life on campus, never fear! She has just been extended an invitation to pledge Kappa Alpha Theta. What an honor! 

If you are interested in following the saga of Dr. Mishori, catch her next week on Rachel Dolezal’s podcast “Fake It ‘Til You Make It”!