People (Michael Barbaro) keep saying Washington is more polarized than ever. What is the reason for this divide, you might ask? Answer: the psychosocial division between its college students, or what sociologists are calling the “Hilltop and Foggybottom Divide.” Take the quiz below to find out which side of the aisle you stand on!

1. You’re at a party, do you… 

a. Bring up the Isreali/Palestine conflict, or

b. Lock yourself in the bathroom for 20 minutes to watch TikTok and then make vague conversation with someone else’s girlfriend about the Build Back Better Plan (“I’m sure they’ll pass some of it at some point”)

2. Are you a… 

a. Libertarian disguised as a moderate Democrat, or

b. A member of the Green Party

3. You are a Public Relations Intern at a fancy office. Is your job description…

a. Fielding calls from the press, sending out press releases that no one reads, and trying hard not to seem as drunk after your boss buys you a scotch at Happy Hour, or

b. Handling social media so that all the old people can leave early on Fridays

4. After graduation do you plan on moving to…

a. Rosslyn, or

b. Arlington 

5. You’re on a first date. Is the first question you ask…

a. What their Meyer-Briggs archetype is, or

b. What their relationship with their parents is like 

6. Right before you cross Pennsylvania Ave, the pedestrian crossing sign goes away. Do you… 

a. Keep walking and put up your hand to stop incoming traffic, or

b. Hop back on the curb like a little bitch

If you answered (A) for most of these questions, then you’re at the top of the list for Hilltops. But if you answered (B), well, you know where you belong, you absolute Foggybottom.