The November slump is hitting campus pretty hard right now, so it’s really important that students on this campus celebrate whatever wins they can. For econ major Brad Thomas (COL ‘24), his lunch today represented that win.

Brad typically picks up a sushi roll from Vittles two or three times a week for a quick, on-the-go lunch alternative with little variation, but this week was different! Did his eyes deceive him, or did that so-labeled “California Roll” also have tantalizing little pieces of salmon?!

“Finding a more expensive sushi roll mis-labeled AND mis-priced?! That’s basically orgasmic,” Brad bragged to The Heckler, his excitement level also indicating to us that he’s probably participating in No Nut November. “The Corp might as well make me their CFO if they’re letting stupid mistakes like this one through.” Ah, nothing like the unbridled confidence of an econ major who has yet to be crushed by econometrics. 

To my readers who are hoping to encounter as great an arbitrage opportunity as Brad did, rumor has it that the water fountain next to the fourth floor Regents elevator is filled with Smart Water instead of regular water and they aren’t charging any extra for it!

Disclaimer: I don’t 100% understand what arbitrage is.