It can be so frustrating not knowing whether you are the Inanna or the Ishtar of your friend group. Doesn’t it always feel like your BFF’s know exactly which one they are? Is your BFF clearly an Inanna and you want to know if you are compatible? Are you tired of being rejected by the epic heroes of Uruk? (Disclaimer: This quiz will not help you avoid rejection by the epic heroes of Uruk.) Do you need to know whether you will receive more sacrificial offerings from cute boys in Akkad or Sumer? Take this quiz to find out!

1. How would your crush invite you to the party?
   1. Text you in the whole group chat.
   2. Carving the message into the corpse of an enemy before slicing their throat, sending them to “the place where you chew ash and swallow stones.”
2. What’s your dream day out with your BFF??
   1. A day out in Uruk, measuring the walls and hitting the malls! 
   2. Totally blasting your favorite jams all through the Levant, getting confused for Astarte.
3. What’s your fav theophany?
   1. Venus (in both morning and evening star manifestations)
   2. Venus (in both morning and evening star manifestations)
4. Would you rather have Utu as a twin brother or Ereshkigal as an older sister?
   1. Ereshkigal would make such a great sis!!!!
   2. Having a twin would be totally adorbs!
5. Do you like having epithets?
   1. Yes, literally give me all the epithets.
   2. The more the merrier!
6. What mythical beast would you be most inclined to use to kill your toxic ex?
   1. The Bull of Heaven, and I will also raze Uruk. The people will suffer.
   2. Anu, If you do not grant me the Bull of Heaven, I will pull down the Gates of Hell itself, crush the doorposts and flatten the door. And I will let the dead leave and let the dead roam the earth. And they shall eat the living. The dead will overwhelm all the living!

If you answered mostly 1…

You are giving major Inanna vibes! You are an absolute goddess of fecundity and war. Never let anyone tell you you don’t also represent justice or political power either because you are absolutely giving that energy right now. You can rip the throats out of your enemies with the strength of a lion and all of your priestesses are destined to absolutely slay. Now go out there and find your own Dumuzid! You deserve it.

If you answered mostly 2… 

You are absolutely giving Ishtar. The name of the game for you is fertility and battle and no one can take that crown from you. You know deep down that you also represent political power and sometimes even justice but you don’t feel the need to brag about it. You are living in Leo energy and love being worshipped by the Akkadians. Nothing is sexier than the thought of your priestesses trampling an army, crushing their skulls with their heels as they lock eyes with their next victim. That is your truth and you live in it without shame. Good for you.